From the reference of the artist Bob Flanagan's Why? poem, it was proposed to write my own poem.
Meu Why?
Because I am a Brazilian immigrant in Europe. Because the in-between(ness) triggers a deep abjection on me. Because that is my current condition. Because it is hard to keep track of two or more countries/laws/languages. Because I know that here I need to shift reality to believe that I’m s t i ll myself. Because (even if it was true), I do not want to take the pill soma. Because there is something to be seen, valued in Brazil that goes beyond the archetype. Because it is necessary to change the order of things. Because the dichotomies and discrepancies are real. Because it is really hard to convey what it means in Brazilian reality. Because I need to carry this stage of the research within other live memories. Because I love to be challenged, mostly by the diffractive Brazilian reality. Because I lost my identity when I came here. Because I’m not anymore so interested in identity, but rather the Brazilian entity that comes with me. Because I understood from this experience that privilege comes with its nationality/citizenship. Because it is controversial how some Brazilians have an anti-colonialist mindset and others a colonialist mindset. Because the reproduction of such a pattern just traps us in a vicious cycle. Because the Constitution written after the dictatorship does not serve us all, mainly the ones on the margins - natives, african origins and women. Because Europeans do not know what it is like to be on the margins, besides from their own economic block. Because I AM REALLY TIRED of everything turning only around Europe. Because I don’t agree with this stupidness of Eurocentrism, much less Western Culture. Because in Brazil the meaning of work, meaning of family, meaning of people differ drastically from here. Because it is not trivial, it is paramount to emphasise Brazilian counterculture. Because we, Brazilians, are not the Western definition of “soccer, women, Carnival”. Because the Brazilian memory needs to not only transgress the Colonized mindset, but to become other by listening to the margins. Because the Re-Antropofagia needs to be evoked in order to be settled. Because the objectification and subjugation must be either diffracted or abolished. Because p-o-w-e-r blind people and it needs to be detached from an economic system. Because Capitalism deprives a human from the human. Because hierarchies combined with Capitalism only creates more space for the non-human. Because I’m sick of Westernvirus. Because as a Brazilian woman, with Italian, German, Portuguese and Brazilian Native ancestralities (without EU passport) I claim my space, my right, my existence. Because like me, there are many others. Because there is no such thing as pure race. Because I don’t deserve to be treated with a disrespectful xenophobic behaviour by others. Because we Brazilians must see our value and to stop the comparison with Europeans. Because I wish as a Brazilian to not need to study/work in Europe to be valued in Brazil when I go back. Because it is already difficult to leave, more to resist from far. Because it is horrible to see your entire country being dismantled from a dis-government called Bolsonaro. Because yes, indeed, a” favela cries”. Because it is not at all fair a dis-government takes advantage of the people who couldn’t have education, which the (dis)government must have provided education in the first place. Because fake news is a crime, but not reported. Because it was, still, is the biggest genocide from the century a (#notmy) president deprives a whole country from the vaccine. Because I lost family, friends, and more people that I know lost much more people with a virus defined as “little flu” by Bozonaro. Because, now, even after two dosis I was infected and it was HORRIBLE to not be able to breathe. Because I hate Bolsominions people and anti-vaccine attitude (and no sorry for that!) Because Public Health should be minded with responsibility, and if you are not minding, you are being irresponsible (that’s the word). Because I am not here to joy you this time. Because even my traces and face do not match with the voice behind this text, this is who I truly am. Because if you agree with what I write, please send me your testimony about it. I highly appreciate it.
Thank you.
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